Watercolour bird with a yellow body and blue wing standing under a rising sun, beside the words "If I were a bird I'd shit on you first" in dusty blue capitals and coral pink script.

If I Were a Bird I'd Shit on You First | Pressing Images (#229)

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Some people earn a comeback you can't say out loud at work. This design says it for you, and it says it in watercolour — a plump little bird, a rising sun, and a punchline that only lands once someone steps close enough to read the whole thing. Sweet from a distance, savage up close. Choose it as a DTF transfer, a UV DTF sticker, a sublimation transfer or a vinyl decal, printed, cut and packed in Okotoks, Alberta.

What's on this design

A round, hand-painted bird stands on a patch of peach-coloured sand — buttery yellow body, dusty-blue wing, a blush of pink over its head, long spindly black legs, eyes closed under tiny lashes. A yellow sun rises behind it. The lettering alternates: tall dusty-blue capitals carry the setup, coral-pink brush script drops the two punchline words. Sweet watercolour, filthy sentiment.

Who it's for

Built for the friend who says the quiet part out loud. Press it on a black tee for a stag or bachelorette weekend, or on a hoodie for the co-worker who has earned it. As a UV DTF sticker it peels straight onto a travel tumbler; as a laminated vinyl decal it suits a laptop lid, toolbox or truck window — anywhere the right person will read it.

Available formats

DTF transfer for fabric, UV DTF permanent sticker for hard surfaces, sublimation transfer for light polyester and poly-coated blanks, and vinyl decal for smooth surfaces. Vinyl is also available laminated, in matte or gloss.

How to apply

DTF transfers press at 280-300°F for 12-15 seconds, hot or cold peel, followed by a 5-10 second finishing press under parchment. UV DTF stickers peel and stick straight onto clean, dry hard surfaces. Sublimation transfers press onto light-coloured polyester or poly-coated blanks. Vinyl decals apply to any smooth, clean surface.

Care

Wash garments inside out in cold water. Skip the fabric softener and the dryer sheets. Hard-surface stickers need nothing more than a gentle wipe.

Shipping and turnaround

Everything is made to order in Okotoks, Alberta. Most orders ship within 1 to 3 business days.

Why Pressing Images
Printed, cut and packed by a small Canadian team in Okotoks, Alberta. Nothing sits pre-printed on a shelf, custom sizing is available on most designs, and wholesale pricing is there if you need volume. Questions before you order are welcome.

If a specific courier is required please add in notes section. Otherwise we chose fastest option within price range. DO NOT select couriers for P.O Box addresses.

Please note that when shipping with Canada Post they only allow one box per order, so for larger orders please select a courier.

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